


Unrequited

by Dandy



Category: Free!
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 19:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17028366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dandy/pseuds/Dandy
Summary: It wasn’t that he begrudged Rin racing Haru, of course – their rivalry was the rivalry, the one that started everything, and there was no way he would ever try to get in the way of it, now that things had been smoothed out between Rin and his friends. But Rei had asked Rin for a race first, as practice was winding down, and so far he hadn’t gotten it.To be honest, Rei felt like he’d been put on the backburner.





	Unrequited

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr as part of RinRei Week. The prompt was "Unrequited."

Rei stood by the wall in Samezuka’s natatorium and tried not to look too disappointed as he watched Rin race Haru.

It wasn’t that he begrudged Rin racing Haru, of course – their rivalry was  _the_  rivalry, the one that started everything, and there was no way he would ever try to get in the way of it, now that things had been smoothed out between Rin and his friends. But Rei had asked Rin for a race  _first_ , as practice was winding down, and so far he hadn’t gotten it.

After his discussion with Rin about what their relationship should be, Rei had eventually decided on rivals. It seemed like the most natural progression, after all; they were both competitive people, and they both swam butterfly. And rivals… rivals were  _special_. Rivals held each other in high regard and respect, saw each other as the goal to reach, the standard to surpass. Rivals admired each other as much as they wanted to defeat each other. They wanted to see the other improve, so they could improve to match, forever pushing each other to greater heights.

Those were all the things Rei felt for Rin. Rin’s stroke was powerful, and though it was different from Haru’s, it was just as beautiful, and Rei strove to emulate it. And not only that, but Rin’s determination, drive, and perseverance were all things Rei valued, and he looked to Rin as his role model for those traits. 

It had made him so happy, then, when Rin agreed on the nature of their relationship. The idea that Rin Matsuoka, who not so long couldn’t stand the sight of him, might also feel that same respect and admiration for him gave him a feeling he’d never quite felt before, similar to how he felt when Haru praised him, but more than that, too. He hadn’t put a name to it yet, but he liked that feeling.

But since he’d asked Rin for a race, and Rin had agreed, he’d proceeded to watch Rin help some of the first years on his team, talk to another third year about an assignment for a shared class, reprimand a second year for stealing a first year’s clothes as a prank, and jump up onto a starting block as soon as he saw Haru gravitate back towards the water.

To be honest, Rei felt like he’d been put on the backburner.

Rin and Haru finished their race (Haru won, but just barely), and both hopped out of the pool. Haru walked towards Makoto and followed him and Nagisa into the locker room, while Rin walked towards Rei. Rei’s heart sped up in excitement and anticipation.  _Finally_.

“You okay, Rei?” asked Rin, and Rei nodded, wiping off his earlier disappointment and replacing it with eagerness.

“Yes, I’m fine. Are you ready to race now, Rin-san?”

Rin looked confused for a moment, and then realization dawned. “Oh, crap. Sorry, Rei, I forgot.”

He  _forgot_? Rei felt his heart sink a notch. “It’s alright. Just, if you’re ready to go now, we can-“

“Sorry, I can’t. I’m going to catch up with a study group in the library.” He looked apologetic, rubbing the back of his neck.

“O-oh,” Rei stuttered, feeling his heart drop to the bottom of his stomach. Rin had time to do all those other things, but not to race him? But they were rivals! “That’s okay. I understand.”

It took a surprising and completely illogical amount of effort to pull those words out.

“Sorry,” Rin repeated, but then grinned. “But I do have a favor to ask, while you’re here. This Saturday I want to give these guys some land training – weight lifting, running, you know. You used to be on the track team, right?” 

“Yes,” said Rei, confused as to what this was all about.

“I was wondering if you could come while they’re running, make sure they’re… stretching right, and running right, and stuff like that.” He looked away a little, still rubbing his neck. “And I’ll buy you lunch after, to thank you.”

Rei was still a little confused, because he had no idea why Rin needed his help with  _running_ , but he supposed he was the most knowledgeable about it. If Rin thought it would help, he supposed he could, if only to keep anyone on the rival team from pulling something.

“I’ll come,” he agreed, and Rin’s smile grew as he finally met Rei’s eyes.

“Thanks. Be here at nine, okay?”

“I will,” Rei agreed.

As he went into the locker room to change, listening to Rin try to shoo people out so he could lock up, his mind was still on Rin’s refusal to race him. And it continued to bother him all the way home.

* * *

As Saturday approached, Rei found himself thinking about his relationship with Rin more and more.

It bothered him, that he’d been put aside so easily. If Rin truly respected him as a rival, he would have raced Rei anyway, the way he had jumped at the chance to race Haru. But he hadn’t.

Rei knew he was easily the weaker of the two. He hadn’t been swimming nearly as long as Rin, and he wasn’t nearly as fast, either. But Rin had agreed to be his rival anyway, and he’d thought that meant Rin had confidence he could improve, become a worthy opponent one day.

He was starting to wonder if that was really how Rin felt, though. If Rin felt that way, why hadn’t he wanted to race? Or at least offered up another time they could?

It hurt, and at first he wasn’t sure why. He examined this feeling all over, even searched on the internet and in the library, on what this could all mean. There were perfectly logical reasons why Rin wouldn’t  _want_  to be his rival – his inexperience, his lower ability, their fairly rocky past. Rei knew, logically, that he should just let it go. But he couldn’t.

“This feeling is unmistakably heartache over unrequited feelings of love,” wrote one author. “The knowledge that you love someone, but they do not love you back.”

That couldn’t be right. Rei, after all, was in no danger of falling in  _love_  with anyone – he was above that! But it still made sense, in a way.

Being a rival was  _special_. It meant that you were  _important_  to someone.

And, he realized as he boarded the train toward Samezuka at 8:20 Saturday morning,  _that_  was what bothered him. That’s what made his chest hurt, made him feel afraid.

The idea that instead of being someone important to Rin, he might not mean anything at all.

* * *

“Thanks for all your help today, Rei.”

Rei smiled up at Rin from where he was bent down, tying his shoe. He hadn’t felt any better about things since arriving, but he forced cheerfulness anyway.

He felt nerves fluttering around in his stomach, like he did before a race. They were going to eat lunch after this, and he’d decided he would ask Rin about the nature of their rivalry then.

“It was nothing, Rin-san. I had an enjoyable time, running with your team.”

Actually, he’d had a bit of a lousy time, still full of doubts about how Rin saw him, but other than that he’d found most of the team members from Samezuka to be good company. If he weren’t so down already, it would have been true.

“I’m glad you did. Maybe we can do it again sometime,” said Rin, as Rei stood up. “Are you ready to go?”

“You really don’t have to buy me lunch.”

“I want to,” said Rin, and he wasn’t looking at Rei’s eyes again. That only made Rei’s heart sink lower.

He had to do it now. Before Rin forced himself through a lunch he didn’t want to have with Rei.

“Rin-san, before we go, there’s something I need to ask you,” he said, very seriously, glad that the other swimmers were all walking back toward the dorms without them.

Rin frowned at the serious expression on Rei’s face, but nodded. “Shoot.”

Rei’s hands shook, but his voice was surprisingly strong and steady as he asked, “Do you really want to be my rival?”

Rin stared at him in confusion for a moment before finally saying, “Huh?”

“Do you  _really_  want to be my rival?” Rei repeated. When Rin still didn’t answer, he elaborated. “You said you wanted to be my rival, but you don’t race me very often, or do any of the things you do with Haruka-senpai.”

“Uh… Well, Haru is more on my level, but I do like racing you for fun.”

“…For fun?” Rei repeated, hoping desperately the disappointment didn’t show on his face.

“Yeah. You know, when you want to show me your beautiful butterfly, and we shit talk each other. That’s fun, right?” 

He grinned at Rei, but it started to fall as Rei just stared at him, looking hurt.

“…So you don’t take it seriously at all?” he finally said, voice shaking, and Rin’s expression fell completely.

“Hey, I didn’t say  _that_ -“

“You might as well have! You’re just doing it to humor me, aren’t you?”

“Rei, that’s not- I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then answer me honestly, Rin-san.” Rei looked straight into his eyes. “Do you think of me as a serious rival?”

A moment passed where neither boy said anything, and then Rin sighed, looking down. “Honestly?”

“Yes, please.”

Rin blew a steady stream of air out of his mouth before looking back up at Rei. “No, I don’t. Sorry.”

Rei wondered if the sudden ache in his chest was what it felt like to have your heart break. So that was it, then. Rin didn’t think anything of him after all. No respect, no admiration, no striving to be better than him. He was just some dumb younger swimmer, nipping at the heels of someone better than he would ever be.

“…I’m afraid I can’t join you for lunch, Rin-san. Sorry,” said Rei, feeling on autopilot as he turned to walk the other way, a strange sting in his eyes.  _Don’t cry_ , he lectured himself.  _It wouldn’t be beautiful to cry over something like this_.

But before he could take two steps, a firm hand gripped his wrist and stopped him. “Rei, please,” said Rin desperately. “Don’t go.”

Rei stopped, but didn’t look back. “What is it?”

“Just… tell me why being my rival is so important to you.”

Rei forced himself to turn around, blinking his eyes to rid them of any traitorous traces of emotion. “You mean it isn’t obvious?” Rin shook his head, and Rei sighed.

“It’s because rivals are… special,” he finally said, adjusting his glasses self-consciously with the hand Rin wasn’t still holding hostage. “Rivals respect and admire each other, and hold each other in high regard. So I understand why you don’t want to be my rival. It’s fine, Rin-san.”

He turned as though to leave again, but Rin’s grip only tightened.

“What do you think you understand?” he asked. “Why is it that you think I don’t want to be your rival?”

Rei winced, then looked back at him. “You’re being very cruel, Rin-san, if you’re going to make me answer that.”

Rin hesitated, then he said, “So you  _do_  think I don’t respect you?”

Rei said nothing, only stared back at him.

“I want to get something straight, then,” said Rin sternly. “I  _do_  respect you.”

Rei’s expression softened a little. “But you said-“

“I’m sorry I don’t feel like as much of a rival as you want me to,” Rin said, cutting him off. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t respect you, because I do.”

He was staring into Rei’s eyes with determination as he continued, as though trying to will Rei to  _feel_  his words. “You went from not knowing how to swim to competing at a national level in less than two years. You’re always working your ass off to get better at everything you do, even when it seems impossible. You care about your friends so much that you’re willing to give everything you have for them. You were the only person willing to stand up to me back when I was being an asshole, and you were willing to forgive that asshole and become friends with him in the end. You’re one of the people I respect the most, even when you’re wearing a ridiculously gaudy swimsuit and talking about nerd stuff, and to think you have even half of that respect for me is… amazing.”

Rei could have taken umbrage with that nerd comment, but he was too overwhelmed by Rin’s sincere and unsuspected words, and too fascinated by the blush suddenly rising to Rin’s cheeks. “Rin-san…”

“I respect your swimming, too. Even if I didn’t take the rivalry as serious as you did, I never raced anything but my hardest against you. Going easy on you would have been a disservice.“ His blush deepened. "And I feel all that other shit for you too. Admiration and… whatever else you said. All of it.” He finally broke eye contact, looking off to the side. “That’s… why I asked you here.” 

Rei blinked. “Didn’t you ask me here to help with your team’s running?”

Rin snorted, though he still wouldn’t look up. “ _Please_. Like I need help with that. It was just an excuse to get you here on a Saturday without the rest of the guys.”

“…I don’t follow you.”

Rin did look at him again, briefly. “Are you serious? You’re more of an oblivious nerd than I thought.”

Rei pressed his lips into a hard line. “Will you please just explain what you mean instead of insulting my observational skills?”

“I can’t insult what you don’t have,” snapped Rin, but then he sighed. “Sorry. Look, I might as well tell you… I asked you here because I wanted to go to lunch with you alone, and if it went well I was going to… ask you on a real date.”

Rei froze. For a moment, time seemed to halt as he processed this information, Rin blushing furiously and avoiding looking in Rei’s face. This wasn’t what Rei was expecting at all. He’d had no idea Rin felt that way about him. Sure, they’d gotten close over the last year, sometimes jogging together, talking on the phone, through their late-night practices, and sure, sometimes Rin would brush against him and stutter or act oddly around him…

Oh.

Rin was right. He really  _didn’t_  have any observational skills.

“…You want to date me?” Rei finally said aloud, causing Rin to scowl.

“Yeah. That’s why I’m not really interested in being your rival. I was kinda hoping for… something else.”

Rei suddenly felt a warmth in his chest, the same one he’d felt when Rin told him he would be his rival. All he’d wanted was to be important to Rin, and as it turned out, he  _was_. Maybe even more important than he expected.

The tension drained out of his shoulders, and suddenly he found himself laughing as happiness bubbled up to replace it. Rin stared at him, looking shocked, angry, and embarrassed, as the sound escaped him, Rei covering his mouth with his free hand to try and stifle it. Rin dropped Rei’s wrist, folding his arms.

“Now who’s being cruel!? You could just say no!”

“No, no, I’m not laughing at  _you_ ,” Rei assured him, getting himself back under control. He smiled at Rin and said, earnestly, “I’m just so happy that I’m important to you after all.”

Rin flushed a deep red and hid his face in his hands, muttering, “Don’t say something like that so casually.” It made Rei giggle again, and he reached out to try and pull Rin’s hands away.

It took almost a minute, but Rin finally revealed his face, looking grumpy but less embarrassed. “So are you going to go on a date with me or what?”

“I have to admit to you, Rin-san, that this isn’t what I was expecting at all.” Rei adjusted his glasses. “But, I will go on this date with you, and we’ll see where it goes.”

Rin smiled, nervous but excited. “That’s… yeah, we can just see where it goes.”

Rei nodded, but then adjusted his glasses so he was giving Rin a cocky look over the rims. “But I warn you, Rin-san: I won’t fall in love that easily.”

Rin blinked, but then his smile turned cocky and he took a step forward, taking Rei’s hand instead of his wrist this time.

“Is that a challenge?”

“If you think you’re up to it. Now, where are you taking me on this date?”

It was a challenge, Rin was proud to say, that he eventually won.


End file.
